‘I sentence you to three and a half years,’ bellowed the immaculately well-kept Judge Bolan … ‘Thank you VERY much Judge Bolan, ya sanctimonious prick’ were the words that came flooding into my mind as the walls of Court 5 came closing in on top of me ... but who was I kidding?
So begins Gary Cunningham’s remarkable memoir about his time in Mountjoy Prison. Occasionally harrowing but more often hilariously funny, Joys of Joy offers a searingly honest account of Gary’s experiences as a prisoner. Raised in a stable, middle class family, Gary had never been in trouble before an alcohol and drug problem led to a stupid mistake that was his downfall. As Gary says in his Preface:
‘I will take you inside one of Ireland’s most famous jails and guide you through what was one of the most frightening, exciting rollercoaster rides I have ever embarked on. In no way will I try to glorify prison life, nor will I regale you with tales of bloodshed and torture. This is just my honest account of how getting myself in serious trouble with the law and ending up in Mountjoy, and subsequently Loughan House, was a truly life changing experience for me.’
Little did Gary know when he went through the prison gates as a terrified first-timer that inside those walls he would create a successful rock band, win two writing competitions, form Ireland’s first Prisoners’ Committee and meet some of the most remarkable people – prisoners and staff alike – who would literally save his life.
As Gary says, ‘This is my story… This is my journey… This is feckin’ CRAZY!’
Preface 1
Chapter 1
The Sentence 5
Chapter 2
On the Bus 11
Chapter 3
Cunny 16
Chapter 4
Breakfast 24
Chapter 5
New Friends 29
Chapter 6
The Kitchen 32
Chapter 7
Anti-Clockwise 37
Chapter 8
The Gaffer 40
Chapter 9
Sloppin’ Out! 44
Chapter 10
Balls Rough and Doin’ Your Whack 48
Chapter 11
Phone Calls and Visits 51
Chapter 12
Kitchen vs Bakery 55
Chapter 13
Smithwicks and the Birth of ‘The Offenders 58
Chapter 14
So, How Did You End Up in Here? 63
Chapter 15
The Tuck Shop and Getting a ‘Dig’ 65
Chapter 16
The Magical, Mystical, Maybe Mythical C Wing 68
Chapter 17
Stretch Gets Scalded 72
Chapter 18
Talking Thursdays 77
Chapter 19
Weight Loss in the Gym 80
Chapter 20
The Music Men and Woman 84
Chapter 21
The Offenders Songs/Poems for the Lads/
Journeyman 88
Chapter 22
‘You’ve Got Mail’ 94
Chapter 23
Apple Tarts Inc. 100
Chapter 24
A Brief Interlude 103
Chapter 25
Goodbye Kitchen, Hello Print Room! 105
Chapter 26
Halloween and the X Factor Tart 111
Chapter 27
The Offenders’ First Gig 115
Chapter 28
‘Tis the Season 120
Chapter 29
Whose Line Is It Anyway? 126
Chapter 30
Loughan House, Can You Hear Us? 135
Chapter 31
Time to Reflect 146
Chapter 32
‘Let’s Go, Loughan, Let’s Go’ 148
Chapter 33
A New Governor 157
Chapter 34
It’s the School Around the Corner Just the Same 161
Chapter 35
Weet-a-minute ... 164
Chapter 36
And the Winner is … 173
Chapter 37
You Say You Want a Revolution … 178
Chapter 38
Smithwhicks and the New Crew 188
Chapter 39
He Was a Daytripper 194
Chapter 40
Road Trip with the Red Cross 202
Chapter 41
‘There’s Someone Here to See You’ 212
Chapter 42
A Sad Tale with a Happy Ending 216
Chapter 43
The End of One Era and the Beginning of a New One 227
Chapter 44
For Those About to Rock, We Salute You 233
Chapter 45
A Good Choice in Theory 244
Chapter 46
Laying Down Tracks 251
Chapter 47
Back to The Joy 262
Chapter 48
‘Here’s Your Breakfast, Rock Star!’ 268
Chapter 49
‘Mama, I’m Coming Home’ 279
Chapter 50
The Beginning, Not the End 286
Acknowledgements 291
Preface 1
Chapter 1
The Sentence 5
Chapter 2
On the Bus 11
Chapter 3
Cunny 16
Chapter 4
Breakfast 24
Chapter 5
New Friends 29
Chapter 6
The Kitchen 32
Chapter 7
Anti-Clockwise 37
Chapter 8
The Gaffer 40
Chapter 9
Sloppin’ Out! 44
Chapter 10
Balls Rough and Doin’ Your Whack 48
Chapter 11
Phone Calls and Visits 51
Chapter 12
Kitchen vs Bakery 55
Chapter 13
Smithwicks and the Birth of ‘The Offenders 58
Chapter 14
So, How Did You End Up in Here? 63
Chapter 15
The Tuck Shop and Getting a ‘Dig’ 65
Chapter 16
The Magical, Mystical, Maybe Mythical C Wing 68
Chapter 17
Stretch Gets Scalded 72
Chapter 18
Talking Thursdays 77
Chapter 19
Weight Loss in the Gym 80
Chapter 20
The Music Men and Woman 84
Chapter 21
The Offenders Songs/Poems for the Lads/
Journeyman 88
Chapter 22
‘You’ve Got Mail’ 94
Chapter 23
Apple Tarts Inc. 100
Chapter 24
A Brief Interlude 103
Chapter 25
Goodbye Kitchen, Hello Print Room! 105
Chapter 26
Halloween and the X Factor Tart 111
Chapter 27
The Offenders’ First Gig 115
Chapter 28
‘Tis the Season 120
Chapter 29
Whose Line Is It Anyway? 126
Chapter 30
Loughan House, Can You Hear Us? 135
Chapter 31
Time to Reflect 146
Chapter 32
‘Let’s Go, Loughan, Let’s Go’ 148
Chapter 33
A New Governor 157
Chapter 34
It’s the School Around the Corner Just the Same 161
Chapter 35
Weet-a-minute ... 164
Chapter 36
And the Winner is … 173
Chapter 37
You Say You Want a Revolution … 178
Chapter 38
Smithwhicks and the New Crew 188
Chapter 39
He Was a Daytripper 194
Chapter 40
Road Trip with the Red Cross 202
Chapter 41
‘There’s Someone Here to See You’ 212
Chapter 42
A Sad Tale with a Happy Ending 216
Chapter 43
The End of One Era and the Beginning of a New One 227
Chapter 44
For Those About to Rock, We Salute You 233
Chapter 45
A Good Choice in Theory 244
Chapter 46
Laying Down Tracks 251
Chapter 47
Back to The Joy 262
Chapter 48
‘Here’s Your Breakfast, Rock Star!’ 268
Chapter 49
‘Mama, I’m Coming Home’ 279
Chapter 50
The Beginning, Not the End 286
Acknowledgements 291
